What's All This Then?
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
COCKEYED KATRINA QUOTES
Many years ago, I created a radio feature called "Quotable Quotes." In those days there were a lot of short (one to five minute) syndicated radio programs on the air and a few of them were my creations that I’d record in Chicago and mail to stations across the country on vinyl records. Some of the programs that I created and syndicated are mentioned in my bio which you can find at my other blog site..
The idea for "quotable quotes" was to build a story around something memorable that had been said by someone in the past - usually someone of note - and finish with the quote itself. A little bit like Paul Harvey’s "Rest of the Story." It was a good idea and the pilot programs were well received, but for a number of reasons not worth mentioning here, it never got off the ground.
I was reminded of the program idea while reading a collection of some of the nutty things that people have said over the past few days about the effects of Katrina.. I don’t think you could classify any of them as "quotable quotes" but I know that if the series had ever gotten off the ground and was still around today, I could have created some nifty stories to tie in to some of the ridiculous utterances of Brown, Bush, Cheney and others.
Here are my favorites to date:
FEMA Director Michael Brown:
"I must say, this storm is much bigger than anyone expected."
"Considering the dire circumstances that we have in New Orleans, virtually a city that has been destroyed, things are going relatively well."
"We just learned of the convention center -- we being the federal government -- today." (While the rest of the world knew it yesterday!!)
"Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job."
"I'm satisfied with the response. I am not satisfied with the results." (Later on the same day as telling Brownie what a great job he was doing).
"Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house -- he's lost his entire house -- there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch."
What I'm hearing which is sort of scary is that they all want to stay in Texas. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this, this is working very well for them."
Unidentified Angry Citizen
Speaking to the Vice President - " Go fuck yourself, Mr. Cheney. Go fuck yourself."
Vice President Cheney
(Giggling answer to a reporter’s question about hearing that kind of citizen suggestion)- "First time I've heard it. Must be a friend of John, er, uh, never mind."
Louisiana Republican Congressman Richard Baker
"We finally cleaned up public housing in New Orleans. We couldn't do it, but God did." (He denies ever saying it but the reporter who heard it and wrote the Wall Street Journal story is sticking to his guns).
Republican operative Jack Burkman
I understand there are 10,000 people dead. It's terrible. It's tragic. But in a democracy of 300 million people, over years and years and years, these things happen."
I don’t know about you, but to my mind, the only quote that could be considered memorable from among this collection is that of the unknown citizen. It sums up how millions of people feel about the performance of our government in response to the onslaught of hurricane Katrina - me among them.
Go fuck yourself (fill in the preferred government official’s name)